Your coaches aren’t always right…
Ok, so it may come to a shock to you but your coaches don’t know everything. They make mistakes. They are human. They also can’t read minds. They don’t know if you had a horrible day at school. They don’t know that your back hurts if you don’t tell them. They don’t know that you got into a huge fight with your mom. All these things affect your training which means you need to communicate with your coaches. I am not saying you need to tell your coaches every detail of your life, they would probably prefer you not to, but I am saying you need to let them know you may not be fully on your game. Now I know there are a lot of you out there saying, “Carolyn, you’re hilarious. I could never tell my coach I’m not on my game because…(various reasons)”
This is where you come in. You need to listen to your gut. You need to trust yourself. You need to start to learn when you can and when you can’t handle something. This is not easy. I can speak from personal experience that this is very hard. I have pushed way past things I should never have and paid the price. I am very familiar with holding things in until I completely, ”out of the blue” break down. My parents went through and got a divorce and I didn’t tell my coaches, (coaches I was close to) for almost a year. I used the gym as an escape but there were days that could have been so much better in that gym if I would have communicated with them. It’s not strong to push past your breaking point. It’s strong to acknowledge that you need to slow down, that you need help. When we are athletes we spend a lot fo time training with our coaches often times more than with our parents. This is why communication is key, again your coaches are not mind readers.
Have someone, whether is it a coach, a teammate, another athlete, a trainer, a sports psychologist in your life that is involved in your athletic world that you trust and can talk to. It needs to be someone that you truly feel understands you as an athlete. This person is a necessity for you to be successful and healthy. If you don’t have this person shoot me an email, I will listen to anything you need to talk about!
Things you may hear from your coaches when you have stuff in your head:
~Leave it at the door
~Your sport should be an escape
~Focus
~Just ignore it
These things are not bad on the surface. Yes, leaving your problems at the door can be good advice. You can’t shut down everytime you fail a test or have a bad day. Your sport should be an escape. It should be something you love to do and your gym should be a place that makes you feel good. An athlete needs to be able to focus at game time. The just ignore it one, I am not on board with that one, thats just dumb. So again, a lot of coaches mean well when they say these things but these only work if there is a level of trust built up between you and your coach, again this is done through communication. If these phrases are used without trust then they only make things worse and usually lead to a breakdown mentally and or physically.
Now, all this being said, I do believe there are times when pushing through may be what you want and need to do for you. A national competition, NCAA’s, a State Championship. This does not mean you ignore your emotions, it means you acknowledge them and redirect them temporarily. Again not easy but much easier with a solid support system in play.
Now if you are an athlete that feels like this kind of communication is impossible with your coach. If you have that coach that is always right and does not listen. That coach that has a win only mentality then I say to you find a new coach. Now I know, way easier said than done and if it is impossible for you to find another coach or another program then make sure you have people in your life like I talked about above for a support system.
Again, your coach is not always right, but sometimes they are. Sometimes they are spot on so make sure you listen. Be open, be respectful, work hard, work harder, and be willing to make changes. As a coach, I can say these things make a difference.
